


Falling For You

by meyari



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Minor Character Death, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-04
Updated: 2010-08-04
Packaged: 2018-05-28 04:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6314710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meyari/pseuds/meyari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Protecting Lex Luthor from his enemies and himself was a job that required total concentration.  When Guardian Angel Clark loses concentration for a moment, he misses a deadly danger and then makes a snap decision that has enormous consequences for himself, Lex and Bruce, the companion that Clark left behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling For You

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for minor character deaths, suicide (not permanent, sort of), Buddhist philosophy applied to Christian theology, angst and lovers arguing. People with strong convictions about God, Heaven and angelic behavior should be wary—I've interpreted these aspects of Christian theology in ways that suit the story rather than the realities of the religion. This is profoundly AU, so there really are no spoilers, except for the pilot episode of the show. This story originally came from an image that appeared in my head of Clark with wings. It's grown way beyond that since the initial concept/manip I did.

"Fuck it," Lex snarled, as he stormed out of the mansion to his car and drove away.

Clark sighed, flying over Lex's car while absently pushing hazards out of his way. His reassignment was such a demotion. To go from assistant to the Archangel Phanuel, working as an angel of judgment, to a mere guardian angel for a mortal man, was almost a slap in the face. When he'd first received the assignment notification, he'd actually questioned it. It hadn't make sense that one man would need that level of protection but once he'd arrived, disgruntled and grumpy about the whole situation, he'd seen exactly why someone of his level had been required.

Alexander Luthor seemed quite determined to kill himself in a spectacularly messy way.

He didn't appear to be actively attempting suicide. He never contemplated mixing drugs and alcohol together or looked at knives and guns with the clear intent to end his life. Instead, he drove far too fast, offended everyone who crossed his path, and took risks that no sane man would. 

His father Lionel was as close to a demon in human form as Clark had ever seen, which might explain Lex's determination to leave his earthly existence behind. In Clark's opinion, once the elder Luthor died he'd be working his way up the ranks of hellish power quite quickly, which did little to help Lex in the here and now.

Given all that, Clark's hopefully temporary job as Lex Luthor's guardian angel was too busy and too boring at the same time. He was constantly occupied dealing with all the little hazards that an angel could influence without being seen. Even for one trained to vigilance, it was a stretch to maintain the attention required to protect Lex from his many daily hazards. And yet, the hazards were of such a mundane level that Clark found himself daydreaming about past battles and times spent with Bruce. 

Memories of Bruce's stern but loving face were always the hardest to put away. They both hated that they had been parted by this assignment, but it was a short one. No human lived _that_ long, after all. All Clark wanted to do was last longer than the previous twenty-seven guardians who had been assigned to Lex. At this point, he wasn't sure he would. Sheer aggravation was getting to him.

In the middle of Clark's musings, Lex's car flew around a corner and then down over a bridge, and Clark's attention snapped back to him as Lex suddenly gasped and slammed on the brakes. Clark only had a millisecond to realize that his daydreaming had allowed him to miss a deadly danger; a roll of barbed wire lay in Lex's path. Before Clark could do anything to move it or make it less dangerous, Lex ran over it, shredding his tires and spinning out of control.

"No!" Clark gasped, trying desperately to keep Lex's car from going off of the bridge.

The forces were too great. Cause and effect ripped Lex out of Clark's hands, sending him straight at a young man who was standing on the bridge. The young man barely had time to turn and stare at Lex's car before he was struck and both of them went through the railing and down into the river.

"No!" Clark cried.

The loss of two lives because of he'd been daydreaming was not acceptable. Clark didn't bother wondering where the young man's guardian angel was, why he'd been allowed to be in that exact spot, it didn't matter right then. Making a snap decision, he dove into the young man's body, taking it over as both he and Lex's car fell into the water. He felt a strange snap as he entered the body but couldn't spare the time to think about it.

Lex's car was settling gently to the riverbed. It was full to the ceiling with water. Clark gulped air into his host's lungs and dove down to Lex's car. A quick wrench with angelically amplified strength freed Lex from his waterlogged car, which allowed Clark to carry him to the surface. As he arranged Lex on the bank in order to perform CPR, Clark noticed that young man's body felt oddly comfortable, not like a strange suit he'd put on. It felt as if it really was his body. Quickly dismissing the thought, Clark focused on forcing the water from Lex's lungs and then breathed for him until Lex coughed and woke.

"I could have sworn I hit you," Lex breathed, staring up at Clark's host's body.

Mission accomplished, Clark pushed out of the body, but something snapped him back into it, keeping him there as if he were tethered. Panic surged for a moment, but then Clark realized that Lex was still waiting for an answer. Stalling, Clark looked back at the bridge and then down at the river they'd just been in. He licked his lips as he turned back to Lex.

"If you had, we'd both be dead," Clark replied.

Lex's eyes narrowed for a moment. He opened his mouth to say something further, but then stopped as if struck by a thought, his eyes widening. Clark had no idea what that thought was, but it made Lex look suddenly ill, as if he'd just realized something horrific. As quickly as it had appeared, Lex's expression cleared, leaving the familiar Luthor mask that Clark had been watching for the last month or so.

"Well, then I guess I'm lucky that you were here," Lex said. "My name is Lex Luthor."

"Clark," Clark replied, because he had no idea who he'd possessed.

He should know. Each time he'd been sent to Earth and had taken a host, he'd had access to their memories. The host always whispered quietly to him, telling him what was normal, what mistakes he was making, how to make things right. This time, there was only silence in the back of his mind where the host's soul should rest. It made Clark shiver convulsively. Something was very, very wrong.

"I think I should thank you, Clark," Lex said. "Without you, I'd be dead."

"It's nothing," Clark replied uncomfortably as that was far truer than Lex realized. "Anyone would have done it."

The awkward conversation ended as a police car stopped on the bridge. A few seconds after that, a battered red pickup truck screeched to a stop beside it. Clark helped Lex stand, taking the blanket the sheriff offered while wondering what to do next. He had no idea where to go. His borrowed body had a name and a life, but Clark had no access to it. He couldn't very well claim to have amnesia when he'd already given his name. As he pondered, an older man with ginger hair ran down the riverbank to their sides.

"Clark!" he gasped while grabbing Clark's shoulders in a grip too firm for a human. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," said Clark, as he swayed slightly.

Jonathan, a fellow angel, looked out of the man's eyes, his angelic knowledge making the blue eyes blaze. He went with the hug, leaning into Jonathan's arms in relief. Whatever had just happened, he knew that Jonathan would help make it better. They'd figure out together how to make this right. After a few moments, Jonathan patted his back and let Clark stand on his own.

"Thank goodness," Jonathan said. "Come on, let's get you home."

"I'm so sorry about this," Lex said, startling Clark who'd almost forgotten him. He laid a hand on Clark's elbow while smiling apologetically at Jonathan. "If there's anything that I can do to make up for this, I'll do it."

"Drive slower," Jonathan snapped while glaring at Lex. 

He hauled Clark away and nearly stuffed him into the truck. Clark fumbled with the seat belt, his heart and stomach twisting at leaving Lex's side. No matter how badly he'd just messed up (and it seemed to be his biggest mistake ever) he was still Lex's guardian angel. The man was so danger-prone that a few minutes without a guardian might be the end of him. Jonathan looked over at Clark, his wings shining on his back for a moment.

"I can't believe you did this," Jonathan scolded him. "If you were this unhappy with being an angel, you should have requested a human life. Did you really need to take over the boy's body after he died? I thought you were smarter than this, Clark."

"He's dead?" Clark gasped. He stared at Jonathan with horror.

"Yes," Jonathan said, giving Clark a sideways look full of surprise and disgust. "That was when he was supposed to die. According to Lord Phanuel, his death was supposed to straighten Lex out. It was set up that your current host would die because of Lex's careless behavior. According to Phanuel, this was the last chance to get him back on the proper path."

"Why wasn't I told?" Clark asked. "If I'd known I would never have done this!"

"No one thought you'd do something as stupid as taking over a host when all you had to do was pop the door open and release the seatbelt," Jonathan said so caustically that Clark flinched. "The current of the river would have been enough to get him to the surface with only a bit of assistance from you."

"Oh," Clark whispered, mortified by his mistake.

He hunched down into his seat and wrapped the blanket more firmly around his new body. Jonathan's words made far more sense. Clark's actions truly were foolish; he'd been just as illogical as Lex had been lately. As they drove up to a yellow farmhouse, Clark swallowed hard. His supervisor Martha stood on the front porch with an expression that looked worried, until Clark got closer and her anger at him became quite apparent.

"Clark, honey," Martha said, giving him a hug that didn't feel comforting at all, "Come inside and let's get you dried off."

He let her pull him inside, because there wasn't much else that he could do. The body he was occupying was a trap that he wasn't going to escape anytime soon. The inside of the farmhouse was warm and bright, full of pictures and ever so slightly worn furnishing that made Clark's heart hurt for the boy whose life he'd just taken over. He looked at the pictures and started; Jonathan, Martha, and the boy stared out from them.

"What is this?" Clark asked, as he pointed at the pictures showing him growing up from small childhood to what appeared to be late teens.

"The world has been rewritten," Martha announced in her sternest tones. "You have always been Clark Kent. Your parents are Jonathan and Martha Kent, as we'll be coming in and out of these hosts to help you. Hopefully, this set of circumstances won't last very long. Your task is to continue to protect Lex Luthor, until a situation presents itself where your body can die in the process of protecting him. While he seems to have modified his behavior slightly, it's not going to be enough according to Lord Phanuel. Your host still needs to perish to drive the message home to Lex."

"But… I don't remember anything," Clark protested. "The host's soul is gone, so I have no idea what his life was like."

"This isn't the life that your host lived," Martha huffed. "He was from a completely different state, and was just passing through. His existence has officially been ended as far as humanity is concerned, and his family is mourning him appropriately. Your life here is completely different from his. We simply altered the records here so that you grew up as our host's adopted child."

"Don't worry. You will receive memories to work from," Jonathan said, somewhat less angrily than Martha. "They'll be delivered after we leave. Just do your best, Clark. It's only for a few days, a couple of weeks at most. Once your host has died, then you'll be free to return to your normal duties and a new guardian will be assigned to Lex."

Clark nodded as his stomach did strange flips. It was odd being physical, and he would have preferred to abandon the body and resume his normal duties, but he'd been tasked with helping Lex see that his actions had consequences. Clark would just have to do his best, as wrong as it seemed to leave Lex with that sort of guilt for the rest of his life. Martha sighed, reaching out to pat Clark's blanket wrapped elbow.

"Go get dried off and changed," Martha said. "Our hosts have our names now so that you won't make any stupid mistakes. Their appearance was similar enough to be comfortable for us both."

"I'm sorry," Clark said miserably. "I really don't know what came over me."

"It doesn't matter now," Martha said much more kindly. "This will be over soon. Think of it as penance for your mistake, and I think it will go better."

"Yes ma'am," Clark said.

He trudged upstairs to strip out of the wet clothes. The bedroom that was his was small but homey, although he could sense how new everything actually was. The bedspread that looked so worn and loved was something created for him only moments before. The flannel shirts and old jeans appeared to be careful conscripts from the thrift store in town. A tiny thread clipping adorned the central drawer pull of his battered desk, identifying the desk's former life as a sewing table for Martha's host.

"God, I'm so sorry," Clark whispered as he pulled on the clothes that had been gathered so carefully for his new life. No reply came as he would have expected before but that was only right. Humans didn't have ears to hear God's voice. His heart did warm a little at the care that had been taken to give him a past, so maybe his heart had ears that his soul no longer did.

By the time he went back downstairs, Jonathan and Martha had left their hosts. His brand new parents smiled to see him. A wave of knowledge swept through him like the brush of an angel's wings. They'd adopted him after a devastating meteor shower years ago. He'd been found in a field and had powers that probably came from the meteors that had changed others in town. His best friends were Chloe and Pete. He had a crush on Lana Lang, his next-door neighbor. No one but Jonathan and Martha knew about his powers, which quite logically resembled his angelic powers.

"Feeling better, sweetie?" Martha asked.

"Um, yeah, Mom," Clark said. "Kind of hungry, though."

"Dinner will be in a few minutes, son," Jonathan said. "Might as well set the table."

"Yes, sir," Clark said.

It felt strange to have parents whose love shone in their eyes and the relieved looks they gave him. Clark had to remind himself that, to them, the accident was a close call and that they'd nearly lost the son they'd been blessed with after years of prayer. His heart skipped a beat as he realized that they had been chosen as his parents _because_ they had prayed so hard and so long for a child to love. Tears threatened for a moment at the thought that, when he completed his mission, they would lose the son they'd always wanted.

"You okay, son?" Jonathan asked as Clark paused in setting the table.

"Yeah, just tired," answered Clark, with a smile that he was sure was wan and weak.

"No surprise there," Jonathan said kindly. "Good dinner and a good night's sleep should set you right as rain."

Dinner was delicious, and Martha and Jonathan showed in many ways how grateful they were that Clark hadn't been harmed. Afterwards, Clark washed the dishes for them and then helped his father do the evening chores, just their son normally would. Everything seemed so ordinary that, when Clark finally settled into his twin bed that night, it was with a sense that he was still sinking into that river. 

"It's not real," Clark whispered to the darkness of his room, reminding himself of his task. "This isn't real. I'm just doing my job. I'll save Lex and die while doing it. I'll set things right and go home to Bruce."

The words didn't help. Everything that was happening _was real_ for everyone else in the Kent's corner of the world. His upcoming death was going to be completely real to Jonathan and Martha Kent, as well as for Lex. Even if Clark's death did help Lex find the path to living a worthy, righteous life, it was going to cause so much pain.

The next day came too soon for Clark, who'd had a terrible time falling asleep. He did the chores that were his responsibility and then caught the bus to school, where he met up with friends he'd never really met before. Chloe was bright and brilliant, greeting him with a cheerful smile and snarky comment about sleeping poorly. Pete was solid as a mountain, while Lana was fragile and beautiful with a soul that shone with both loss and need. Clark could see why Lana been chosen as his crush. There was no way that the two of them would work together, but her beauty and popularity made her the girl that every boy wanted.

By the time school was over, Clark had learned that being a human was a lot more complicated than it had seemed as an angel. It wasn't so much that living was hard, though getting used to eating, sleeping and the odd surges of lust that went along with being a teenage male was difficult. Clark's biggest problem was fitting in. His history had been written so that he wasn't one of the popular people with many friends but, even with just Chloe and Pete to worry about, he found himself making many mistakes over the course of the day. Despite all the trouble, seeing Chloe's delighted grin and hearing Pete's snort of laughter made the knowledge that he had to die in the next few days that much harder to bear. 

'Two more people who'll hurt when I die,' Clark thought as they headed back out to the bus after school.

"Man, you're a gloomy Gus today," Pete said as they took seats at the back of the bus.

"Sorry, I'm kind of out of it, I guess," Clark said with a hopefully convincing wry smile.

"Really out of it," Chloe said, poking him in the shoulder with one finger. "Seriously, if you want to ask her out, just ask her out, Clark. Lana's nice enough. She might say yes."

"She's dating Whitney," Clark protested. "I can't do that. He's the captain of the football team and I'm nobody. It wouldn't be right."

"Someone's finding excuses," Chloe teased with a wide grin.

Clark sighed. The teasing didn't continue for much longer as first Chloe and then Pete got off the bus. He and Lana got off at the last stop, and he walked with her to the end of his lane, where she waved goodbye to walk onwards to her house. When he reached the house there was a bright red, brand new pickup truck waiting with a note from Lex. After a pointed discussion with Jonathan, where his angelic namesake took over to explain that this was something that Clark had to refuse so that Lex's guilt could build, Clark returned the truck and then went to visit Lex at the mansion.

It was decidedly odd to walk into the mansion instead of slipping through the walls like a ghost. The place had always seemed austere when he was an angel, but now it was downright cold. Lex's security team had apparently been warned to let Clark in because he was escorted straight to Lex's study. Lex looked up as Clark walked in and his smile was warmer than any Clark had ever seen on him before.

"Clark," Lex said. He walked around the glass-topped desk to meet him. "Glad to see you. How did you like the truck?"

"Um, it was really nice," replied Clark, as his heart did an odd little flip that was part automatic adolescent lust and part pure guilt at what he had to do to Lex, "but I sent it back. I'm really sorry but I can't accept it, Lex. It wouldn't be right. I didn't do anything special. I don't deserve a reward."

Lex stared at him for a moment, frowning as if Clark had said something remarkable and, yet, not unexpected. Clark squirmed under that gaze. Lex really had no idea how little Clark deserved a reward for what he'd done yesterday. After a moment, Lex made a little sigh that was almost a laugh.

"I would like to think that saving my life was worth some sort of reward, Clark," Lex replied.

"But anyone would have done that," Clark protested. "It wasn't special. Besides, we really can't afford the taxes and insurance on a new truck. Sorry."

Lex's eyes looked far too old for his years as he smiled ruefully at Clark. "I'll just have to find another way to thank you, Clark."

Clark laughed awkwardly before saying, "You don't have to thank me at all, Lex. It was nothing, really."

"It was something very important to me, Clark," Lex said with a pat on Clark's elbow that set off another wave of complicated lust mixed with guilt. He seemed to be saying so much more than the simple words, but Clark had no idea what it was. "If I can't give you a reward, maybe I can help you figure out your problems. I'm good at advice. I doubt that there's anything that I haven't done before."

"That would be nice," Clark said honestly. "Thanks, Lex."

They played pool while Lex quizzed Clark on his life's difficulties. He had some good advice on Lana, not that Clark intended to follow up on the suggestions. Lana wasn't someone that he would ever end up with, considering his time limit. Destiny clearly had Lana and Clark pointed in very different directions. Still, it was nice to have someone to talk to and, by the time Clark went home for dinner, he did feel better, despite his body's strong reactions to Lex bending over to take his shots. Clark put that down to a combination of adolescence and his duty reminding him of their connection.

After dinner and chores, Clark went up into the loft that angelic Martha had told him was his hideout, a place to go and think, with the implication that he had a lot to think about. It was a simple, homey space with worn furnishings that showed as much care in their selection as his room had.

"They'll have to clean all this out," Clark murmured as he ran a hand over the battered old couch.

"I can't believe you're having doubts about this," Bruce snapped from the far corner of the room.

"Bruce!" Clark gasped. "You're here!"

"Of course I'm here," Bruce said. He strode over and laid a warm hand against Clark's cheek. "I've been watching over you. Seriously, I cannot believe that you're having doubts about your mission here. All you have to do is to die for Lex and you'll be free to come home. Don't you miss Heaven?"

The matching question of whether he missed Bruce echoed unsaid in the air. Clark's heart clenched at how much he'd missed Bruce. They'd been companions for eons now, sharing their eternities together. Bruce's blue eyes and glossy black hair shone in the darkness of the loft, as did his snow-white wings. Clark stared at him, his human heart pounding and his angelic one hurting.

"Of course I do," Clark protested. "It's just hard. Being human is so different from taking a host. There are so many distractions and temptations. It's… I'm the answer to their prayers, Bruce. They prayed for a son and they'll only have him for a short time."

"They had him his entire life," Bruce disagreed. "You've had this life for only a short time, but they've had an entire lifetime with him so far."

"But…" Clark stopped talking as Bruce turned and looked through the wall of the barn.

"Clark?" Martha called from the bottom of the stairs a few moments later. "It's almost bedtime."

"I'll be in soon, Mom," Clark called back to her. "Just working on some homework."

"All right, sweetie," Martha said with the loving smile that made Clark's heart clench once more for her upcoming sorrow. "Don't stay up too late. Your father and I are headed to bed."

"Sleep well!" Clark called to her.

She smiled and left. It was obvious that she couldn't see Bruce at all, despite the way the light of his wings illuminated the loft. Clark sighed once she left, rubbing a hand over his face. His assignment was turning out to be much harder than he'd expected. Bruce's gentle touch on his shoulder made Clark start.

"It's only temporary," Bruce said quietly. "You'll be free of this existence soon enough, Clark. Just complete your mission and you can come home."

"I will," Clark said. 

He was suddenly seized by the urge to kiss Bruce, a bizarre urge that he'd never felt before he'd had a body. Love between angels was something pure, without lust. Angels didn't have sex nor did they kiss. Bruce frowned as Clark raised a hand and gently touched Bruce's lower lip.

"You can't possibly be submitting to that body's urges, can you?" Bruce asked. He stepped back abruptly while looking at Clark as if he'd been polluted.

"No!" Clark squawked. "It's just that you look so different now that I have a body. I can see through you. I could never see through you before."

Bruce's expression made it perfectly clear that Clark was a terrible liar, and he shook his head in disgust before fading even further. Clark swallowed hard. Seeing Bruce fade away was like seeing the promise of heaven fade away too. Bruce seemed to understand, because he paused and smiled sadly at Clark.

"I'll see you soon, Clark," Bruce said with his normal love in his voice. "This is temporary. We'll be together again soon."

Clark smiled and nodded bravely, even though all he felt was confused and conflicted. Bruce's face faded last of all, leaving Clark with his smile. After Bruce was gone, the loft seemed entirely too empty and cold. Clark stood waiting on the dark for a moment longer before heading into the house, where it was equally lonely with Martha and Jonathan already in bed.

Not yet ready to sleep, Clark walked over to stare at the pictures created to document the life he'd never had. Bruce had said that this wasn't real, but Clark couldn't agree. This was real to the people around him; he was a fixture in Martha's, Jonathan's, Chloe's, and Pete's lives. He was even a part of Lana's life, if only in a distant way. There were teachers and people in town who knew him and waved hello when they saw him. Although it wasn't his life, it was completely real in every way.

Clark's first chance to complete his mission came four long conflicted days later, on a Saturday, when he went over to borrow some books from Lex. He'd talked to Lex every day, but nothing had happened beyond the normal minor issues. In fact, Lex seemed to be far more responsible than normal, acting mature rather than indulging in the irresponsible behavior that Clark had grown accustomed to as Lex's guardian angel. He wasn't even drinking that much anymore.

The strange part Clark thought, as he shoved Lex out of the way of an assassin's bullet, was that Lex had become a friend and a mentor. It was as if he understood Clark's difficulty in dealing with human life, not that it mattered anymore.

"No!" Lex shouted as the bullet that had been headed for his heart hit Clark instead. "Clark!"

The look on Lex's face was so horrified that, as Clark fell, he couldn't let his life go. Between the expression on Lex's face, and the thought of Martha and Jonathan's sorrow, Clark weakened instead of being strong. He resolved the next time he'd do better. He'd find a way that didn't involve Lex _watching_ him die. Using a faint hint of his power to cause the bullet to pass through his flannel only, it missed his side by a fraction of an inch. Meanwhile, Lex was still standing, so Clark reached up and pulled him down to the floor, out of the danger zone.

"Are you crazy?" Clark snapped at him. "Get down! Someone's shooting at you!"

"I thought…" Lex's voice trailed off as he ran his shaking hands over Clark's side. 

"I'm fine, Lex," Clark said as Lex's security guards burst inside the room and returned fire over their heads. "You're the one who was in danger, not me."

Lex wrapped his arms around Clark's head, as if to protect him from the falling glass and bullets flying overhead. He was shaking, breathing as hard as if he'd run a marathon in a matter of seconds. Clark held him until the shooting stopped and then a little longer, his body insisting on reacting to Lex's closeness. He'd never felt human arousal before and it was a heady sensation that made him want things he couldn't have, but all he could do was ignore it for now. 

"I cannot believe you," Martha snapped at him the instant he opened the front door at home. "It was perfect. Why didn't you take the opportunity, Clark?"

"I'm sorry," Clark moaned, wincing at the sheer fury in her eyes and the way her wings blazed with light. "He was looking at me, begging me not to go. And… your host. Yours and Jonathan's. Martha, they're going to be so hurt when I die. I just… they're going to be so sad. Them and Lex and Chloe and Pete and Lana. So many people are going to mourn if I die."

Martha sighed, rubbing her forehead as if he'd just given her host a headache. Her wings folded back, dimming the glare from her side of the room. She walked over and took Clark's face in her hands, looking deeply inside of him with far more than physical sight. He did his best not to quiver, because he was a warrior, not a young human. There was no reason for him to feel like he was a child facing his mother after failing at a task, though of course he was.

"Show me your wings, Clark," Martha said after a long intense scrutiny that left his knees shaking.

"My wings?" Clark asked, surprised.

"Show me your wings," Martha repeated, this time far more implacably.

Clark nodded and unfurled his wings, letting them spread out behind him for the first time since he saved Lex from the river. It felt good but very strange to have them out. They were more physical than they should have been, though still insubstantial as befitted angelic wings. Martha winced, raising one hand to point at them. He turned to look and gasped.

"Black!" Clark squawked. "The tips are black!"

"You're Falling, Clark," Martha told him. "All the confusion you're feeling is a symptom of your impending Fall from Grace. If you don't make better choices very soon, you won't be able to return to Heaven. You'll be nothing more than a human and Heaven will be denied to you until you pass judgment after your death."

Clark whimpered. He pulled his wings around him, gently caressing their black-stained tips. There was no way to deny the evidence in his wings. He truly was losing his way, all for Lex. It wasn't as though his life in Heaven had been lacking. What he'd done there had been fulfilling and meaningful. He had Bruce, sweet, loving Bruce who had shared so much with him for so long. He had his work, his love, and his God.

However, life as a human was full of joy, too. There were people on Earth who loved him. Having a body was far more enjoyable than he had thought when he'd taken a host before. His life was good, even if it was intended to be short. Clark whimpered, sitting on the floor with his wings wrapped around him, the black tips taunting him.

"Clark," Martha said far too gently. "Please. You know what you need to do. Dying will save Lex. My host will mourn, but she has years of happy memories of you as her son. Your friends will remember you. Those memories will inspire them to be better people, to do great things. Pete will be President someday, if he goes on as planned. Chloe will be a great reporter, just as she's always wanted. Lana will be an artist whose work speaks to millions. Most of all, Lex will do incredible things, all because of your death while saving his life. Please. Don't think about this so hard. It's really very simple."

Her hand rested on his head, carrying so much more than human benediction. Clark let her pull him into a hug, but the contact only reinforced his confusion. How could he turn his back on this life? How could he not? Angelic needs warred against his new human needs inside of him. Martha held him until Jonathan came back in from the fields. His confusion didn't fade even with Jonathan's sad sigh and tender caress.

The weeks that followed only added to Clark's confusion. Every day brought a new temptation, whether it was pie, Lex, or the delight of listening to music while driving with Chloe and singing at the top of his lungs. He felt free as a human, and yet, he was so very limited in what he could do. His powers were mostly gone. He was stronger and faster, with better vision and hearing than humans, but it was nothing compared to what he once had.

Through it all, Lex was there, offering advice and supporting Clark in whatever he wanted to do.

Clark came to him every day, checking to make sure that he wasn't hurt or in danger. Whenever Clark came though the door, Lex's face lit up as if he'd just seen an angel. Sometimes Clark worried that Lex knew what he was but he never asked outright. Lex hinted that he suspected that Clark was different occasionally. He sometimes asked snide questions if he'd had a bad day or honestly curious ones on good days. It was never easy being close to Lex, but there was something that drew Clark to him day after day after day.

It so clear that Lex needed his protection. As the days progressed the threats against Lex's life changed from former lovers and angry business partners seeking revenge to more unworldly things that Clark knew were a result of his failure to follow through on his directions to die for Lex. The giant rats that Lex somewhat hysterically called R.O.U.S.'s started the strange events. They looked as if they were normal rats grown to the size of a large dog. Clark managed to deal with them without dying, but only barely. Both of them were injured in the process.

The boy who turned into a bug took it to the next level. Clark had seen a severe lack inside of him at school, but he hadn't thought much of it, at least not until he'd been transformed by the meteors that Heaven had provided for Clark's past. That was followed by Earl Jenkins nearly shaking himself and Lex apart, and then by one of the caretaker's children stalking Lex while using invisibility juice from altered roses. The Nicodemus flowers were what made Clark most guilty. Coming so close to losing Lana and his father Jonathan almost gave him the strength to let his life end, but not quite. He couldn't quite do it, not when he saw the way Lex looked at him, felt Martha's hugs and heard the pride in Jonathan's voice.

Between death threats, work and school, they played pool and Clark watched Lex's ass as he took his shots. During chess games, Clark allowed his toes to brush against Lex's. Shoulder bumps sent thrills of arousal through his body and, every time Lex reached out to put his hand on Clark's elbow, his whole body felt weak.

"I want him," Clark whispered one evening after another failure to die during an attack against Lex. "I want him so badly, but it's so wrong."

"It is wrong," Bruce snapped from the far corner of the room. "Clark, what has gotten into you? Have you forgotten everything that you are? I feel as if you've completely forgotten about me and your duties. Why are you dragging this out?"

"Bruce," Clark breathed.

He turned to stare at Bruce, recognizing for the first time that the love he felt for Bruce went far beyond the angelic love he'd always admitted to. Bruce was his opposite, the one who had always grounded him and helped him to be more serious about his work. In the same way, Clark had always been the one to help Bruce see the lighter side. 

"I can't… help it," Clark admitted reluctantly. "This is a good life, even if it's not the life I used to have. I hate the thought of my death hurting everyone, even though I know that's what I have to do."

"Clark, you can ask for help," Bruce said. He came over and put a gentle hand on Clark's cheek. It sent a flame of lust through Clark that was completely inappropriate. "Say you need help and I'll do everything I can to fix things so that you can come home. There's no need for you to suffer this way."

"It's not suffering!" Clark snapped at him to try and drive Bruce back a little before he did something stupid like try and kiss him. "This, this life, this body, they're good, Bruce. This is a good life! Martha and Jonathan are good people. They've finally gotten what they always wanted. They have a son that they love, and now I'm supposed to take that away from them? It's wrong!"

Bruce stepped back, surprise evident on his face at the force of Clark's words.

"I know what my duty is," Clark said before Bruce could open his mouth. "I know! It's been made clear to me, over and over again, and I just can't do it. I want to but, at the same time, I don't want to. I miss what we had, so very much, Bruce. You have no idea how much I miss you! But this life, this _body_ , they're too good. I want them too."

"Don't tell me you enjoy being physical," Bruce said. He looked and sounded utterly disgusted by the thought.

"I do!" Clark said, delight and disgust warring inside of him. "Food. Food is so good. And hugs, touching, touching is incredible, Bruce. You have no idea. It's not the same when you take a host. When it's your body, it's a completely different thing. I miss knowing my place and what I need to do each day, but the little joys are so intense. I…"

Clark's throat closed on him, keeping him from saying the million and one things that he'd come to appreciate in the last few weeks of human life. He could practically feel his wings staining black. Instead of filling him with horror, as it would have before he took this body, it filled him with a sense of possibility, as if he could do anything in the world. Bruce shuddered, looking at Clark as if he'd completely lost his mind.

"You're Falling," Bruce breathed. He grabbed Clark's shoulders, shaking him sharply. "Clark, you're Falling. Don't do this! Please, just abandon this body. Pray to the Lord to be freed from this flesh so that you can come back where you belong!"

'Come back to me,' hung in the air between them, even though Bruce didn't say the words out loud. Clark shivered. He didn't think that he could go back to things the way they had been. Too much had happened. While Bruce was still the same, Clark's time as a human had changed him, and there was no way to reverse it.

"I… don't think I can," Clark whispered. "It's not just me, Bruce. There's Martha and Jonathan, Chloe. Pete. Lex. I can't just abandon them, they're the reason I've changed. I'm still trying to find a way out of this that will work for everyone. Giving up and running away isn't the answer. I'm so sorry."

Bruce stiffened. His hands dropped from Clark's shoulders as if he'd suddenly become red hot. Anger blazed from him, making him glow in the dim light of the loft. Clark opened his mouth to try and find something to say but Bruce shook his head 'no', cutting Clark off.

"That… no," Bruce said, glaring at Clark. "I will not accept that, Clark. You belong in Heaven, not in that mortal shell. You're so much more than a human. I will find a way to make this right. I won't accept any other outcome."

He turned and took flight, disappearing from the human world between one moment and the next. As he left, Clark gasped. There was a faint shadow on Bruce's shining wings, as if something evil had brushed against them, staining them.

"God no, Bruce," Clark whispered as he stared at the spot where Bruce had been. "Not you too."

Clark collapsed onto his couch. Things kept getting worse. No matter how he chose he was going to hurt people. If he chose to die and return to his angelic duties, he'd hurt Lex, Martha, Jonathan and the others. If he chose to stay a human, he was going to hurt Bruce, possibly even drive him from Heaven's Grace.

"I don't know what to do," Clark moaned into his hands.

The only reply was silence, mocking him rather than giving him answers to the many questions haunting his mind. Clark sat for several hours, staring into the far wall. The light of the sun moved slowly across the room until the far wall was stained rosy from the sunset outside. Just as Clark had nearly decided that he had to let this life go, he heard Lex's car drive up outside. Clark stood and went to the window so that he could watch Lex get out.

Jonathan stood on the porch. He and Lex exchanged some quiet words that left Lex with a sad but politely respectful expression and Jonathan looking more like Clark's angelic supervisor than his human father. Lex walked towards the barn so slowly that Clark wondered if Lex was having second thoughts about visiting.

"Clark?" Lex's voice was hesitant as he called up into the growing darkness of Clark's loft.

"Up here," Clark called back.

"Hiding out in the dark?" Lex asked.

"Just thinking," Clark sighed. "I'm trying to make a decision and I'm having a horrible time doing it."

Lex nodded. He came over and leaned against the other side of the window, staring out into the growing night. The expression on his face looked to Clark as if he really understood what Clark was going through. When he turned and met Clark's eyes there was sympathy, understanding and deep compassion. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lex asked.

"I think that I'm Falling for you," Clark whispered.

Far more wisdom than Clark would have expected stood in Lex's eyes as he reached out and gently touched Clark's cheek. He smiled so sadly that it made Clark's heart hurt for him as he thought, 'How can I leave Lex? How can I leave Bruce?' A tired sigh slipped from Lex's lips and he stepped closer, into Clark's personal space.

"Clark, I'd do anything for you," Lex said. "I feel like this confusion is my fault. I never wanted to cause you this sort of distress. Whatever you need, I'll do whatever it takes to make it happen."

"Lex…"

Clark bit his lip. His angelic half wanted to interpret that as an offer to help him leave human life behind, but his body had a different translation. Lex's expression was still and calm as he waited to see what Clark did. In the end, Clark did exactly what he knew he shouldn't; he leaned close and pressed his lips against Lex's in a hesitant kiss.

Lex kissed him back gently, allowing Clark to set the pace. Clark's heart beat harder as he deepened the kiss, taking it from a dry press of lips into something headier full of tongue and bodies pressed together. The warmth of Lex's body fed Clark's excitement, as did granting himself the pleasure for the first time. He had never felt anything like it, physical arousal consuming his senses, making him moan and pull Lex close. Lex reciprocated, clinging to Clark and kissing him as if the kisses were life itself.

"Falling for you," Clark whispered once they came up for air. "Don't know what to do."

"Clark," Lex whispered, "it will work out. It might not seem like it now, but it will work out in the end."

+++++

Bruce watched Clark with Lex, his heart burning inside of his chest. He couldn't understand how Clark had Fallen so far so fast. There had never been any forewarnings of Clark wandering from the path. Everything had been so good between them, between Clark and their Lord, and Clark had taken fierce pride in completing his duties. His recent behavior was completely out of character for the angel that Bruce had known for so long.

'I have to stop this,' Bruce thought. 'I have to save him. He's obviously intoxicated by that body. There must be something that I can do to help Clark.'

His path stretched before Bruce, splitting in two directions: one way, he would lose Clark and spent eternity alone, the other way he would damn his soul to Hell and spend eternity alone and tormented, but Clark would be safe. Bruce smiled grimly. There wasn't really a choice.

"Clark will always come first for me," Bruce murmured as he took flight again.

Where Clark had been unaware of the stain on his wings, Bruce was completely conscious of the changes in his. He'd felt it, seen it, as soon as he'd realized that Clark wasn't going to do what was right - let his human body die. They would never be together again, but Bruce was determined to see Clark restored to his angelic glory. If Bruce was to Fall, he would Fall for Clark, to save him.

Searching through Heaven and Earth for something to free Clark from Lex's hold was fairly straightforward. After eons as an angel, Bruce knew the patterns and lines of destiny, and the only way to save Clark from his impending fate was to find a place or a person who moved outside of Grace. Those who used magic had their own patterns of destiny, their own salvation. Their powers could damn them or save them with equal ease. Fortunately, for Bruce's quest, they could also use those powers to aid others in their desires.

The first two witches that Bruce located were dark and dangerous entities. He shook his head and passed them by. Even as certain as Bruce was of his impending Fall, he would not use Dark means to rescue Clark. It had to be as pure a method as possible under the circumstances. Several earthly days passed as Bruce searched the world and, eventually, he caught the scent of power in Gotham City. Dark things dwelled in the city, tainting it with evil, but a bright light lived among them, hidden from earthly senses, but not from Bruce.

He studied the small occult shop from the outside, watching the woman within speaking urgently on her cell phone. She seemed agitated about the discussion and at the end had tears hovering in her eyes. Bruce waited until the conversation was over to approach the building and slip in through the door. Whatever her business on the phone had been he did not think that it concerned him. The witch saw him instantly when he entered and frowned as if surprised by his presence. She looked at the phone for a long moment and then back at Bruce. It felt almost as though she was looking straight through him before she nodded once.

"Please do come in," she said to Bruce. She shut the cell phone that she had been holding in her hand and cradled it as if it was precious beyond belief while wiping the tears from her eyes with her other hand. "Be welcome. I rarely get visitors such as you."

"You are homo magi," Bruce said as he manifested visibly.

"I am," she said, frowning slightly at the black staining his wings. "You are Falling. I cannot help you with that. Your God can save you. I cannot."

"I know," Bruce said. "I do not wish to save myself. I have a companion who has been… trapped in human form. I wish to save him, to restore him to his former glory. You have the power. Can you aid me in this?"

The witch watched Bruce for a long moment. A wing of black hair had fallen across her face, obscuring her expression to a degree, and he had no hint as to what she was seeing with her blue eyes. While Bruce could read any other human with ease, her power blocked his awareness in large measure. She was as opaque to him as if she had not been there at all. After a long moment that made Bruce incredibly uncomfortable, she nodded once and turned to sit at a table that held large cards.

"Sit," she said with a gesture at the opposite chair. "I need more information to be able to tell what I can do for you."

Bruce sat stiffly in the chair, or at least pretended to. It was difficult to interact with earthly matter, but his mock-sitting was apparently sufficient for her. She shuffled the cards and began laying them out in a simple array in front of her.

"Death," she said as she turned over the first card. "This is the past, that which brings you here. It is the question that you cannot solve. Death can be literal death but, in this case, I suspect that it is transformation."

"My companion is Falling," Bruce said grudgingly.

"That is a form of death," she agreed. She turned over the second card. "The Lovers. This is your obstacle. Your companion has found another and is turning away from you. The heady pleasure of this new person has made your companion forget you."

Bruce bit down on all the things he wanted to say and merely nodded stiffly that she was right. She sighed sadly and turned over the third card. It showed an empress on her throne, which made her laugh wryly.

"The one who can help you," she said while cocking an eyebrow. "Obviously me. I would say that I must have a solution to your problem based on this."

"Good," Bruce breathed. The candles lit around the room wavered and flickered from the strength of his relief.

"Your path to your goal," the witch said as she turned over the next card. It showed a young man with a bag over his shoulder, walking along a path. "Interesting. You must follow the way of the Fool, setting out on a journey that you cannot know the ending of. Very interesting indeed."

She turned over the second to last card, nodding sharply at the image on it; a young person bound in the center of eight swords.

"The Eight of Swords," she said. "You must risk the wounds to gain what you want. You are held by past constraints, by your fears and desires, but to make the situation better you must act. The longer you wait, the worse the situation will become."

"This is rather frightening," Bruce murmured. He hadn't expected her to be able to see so much from simple cards.

"It's what I do," she replied, with a little shrug that dismissed her talent as nothing at all. "Ten of Swords, the solution to your problem. Very interesting indeed. I know who this is and where you can find him. It represents despair and destruction, being weighed down by so much that you cannot go on, even with the hope in the distance."

"And the last card?" Bruce asked.

"The future," she said with her fingers on it. "Do you wish to know what will be?"

Bruce hesitated for a long moment. Did he want to know? He could fail, his mad venture could lead to complete and utter annihilation. How would he be able to try if he knew that ahead of time? Of course, Bruce was almost certain he knew what the card was. It would display the Devil, the one who would inevitably hold Bruce's soul at the end.

"No," Bruce said. "I neither need nor want to know what will be. I will act no matter what, but knowing the ultimate fate might keep me from acting decisively."

"As you wish," the witch said with a little nod that somehow conveyed that she thought he was being stupid. "You must go to the Palisades to Wayne Manor. Once there, you will find the person you need to be able to save your companion. Your life as an angel is about to end. You cannot save your companion as an angel. Only with a human body can you hope to compete against a human lover."

Bruce shuddered at her words. Taking a host had always been torment for him. He hated the demands of a human body and resented the need to eat and sleep. Despite that, her words made sense to him. Combating Clark's sudden fascination with Lex Luthor was going to take an equally fascinating human body. He had no doubt that once he had won Clark away from Lex he would be able to convince him to return to Heaven. Many times, Clark had been close, only to be distracted by the pleasures of the flesh.

"Thank you," Bruce said. He nodded to the witch as he stood.

"Thank you," the witch said. She left the cards where they lay and studied him with surprisingly sad eyes. "I wish you well, Angel. You will gain what you wish from this, and so shall I."

Bruce's lips went tight but he nodded again before leaving. He'd always known that his soul would be forfeit once he did this. Hopefully, once he had completed his quest and she had his power, his Grace, she would use it in a beneficial way. She didn't seem to be evil, so Bruce didn't think that she'd try to attack Heaven with his power.

The manor was enormous once Bruce got there. It was also almost entirely empty, with the exception of one older man in the kitchen, who was cleaning up from what looked to have been a lunch that went uneaten. At the far end of the huge house, there was one other life, whose light appeared to be guttering. Bruce frowned and went to that person, starting as he realized what this was.

"Why commit suicide?" Bruce asked the young man in his bath of bloody water.

"An… angel?" the young man whispered. "Didn't expect that."

"Why do you wish to die?" Bruce repeated.

"Too much," he murmured. "All alone. Lost everyone. Can't deal with it anymore."

Bruce gently set his hand on the young man's chest, halting his demise. The young man moaned and tried to buck Bruce's hand off. The witch's words made sense now. He needed a body to be able to fight Lex's hold on Clark. If Bruce took this body as his own, as Clark had taken his body, then Bruce would be on an equal footing with them both. It might be more correct to save the young man's life and then guide him to live his life properly but that would not gain Bruce what he needed. He could almost literally feel his wings staining black as he leaned closer to the young man.

"I can set you free," Bruce said. "I can make your death quick and painless. By giving me your body to use after your departure, you will go on to Heaven instead of to Hell."

"Yes," the young man said. His expression was grateful and relieved. "You can be Bruce Wayne. I don't want to be anymore." 

Bruce laughed out of sheer surprise. Releasing Bruce Wayne's soul from his body was a simple thing. Healing his body was equally easy for Bruce. As they passed, the human soul leaving and Bruce's angelic soul entering, Bruce, the human, passed his memories over to Bruce, the angel. Bruce, the angel, let his power go where it would. The obvious assumption was that the witch was waiting to capture it, possibly along with Bruce Wayne's soul. He couldn't see what happened to the human's soul after it left its mortal shell. That brought home the true price of what he'd just done.

"God forgive me," Bruce prayed as he let the bloody water drain out of the tub. "Or not, as you Will it. I will do what I must do to save my Clark."

Bruce turned on the shower and washed himself and the tub clean. He couldn't feel his wings anymore. God's Grace was lost to him. All he had now was a human body and the memories of the other Bruce's life. The last thing that his human body's soul had done before deciding to take its life had been to call the witch Zatanna. Bruce did not pretend to understand why she had done this. He had not thought that she was evil when he spoke to her but perhaps her reasons for sending him here to aid in Bruce Wayne's suicide were not as clear as he had thought. It didn't matter. His powers were gone to Heaven and the witch, and now his only goal was saving Clark.

"I will save you, Clark," Bruce murmured as he dressed himself. "Come what may, I will save you, no matter what the cost to me is."

+++++

"Feeling any better?" Lex asked when Clark showed up several days later. "That attack yesterday was rather violent.

"Yeah, I think so," Clark said. "I wasn't hurt, Lex. You know that."

"I still worry about you," Lex said with a wry shrug that hinted at his continuing doubt of Clark's miraculous salvation from certain doom. "You've been far too much danger since you met me. I hate the thought that you might be harmed because you know me."

"I'm fine, Lex," Clark huffed at him. "You're my friend. I couldn't let them hurt you."

He hadn't felt Bruce watching over him since that last confrontation, and hoped Bruce had done the sensible thing and gone back to Heaven. Better that than Falling for Clark. While he'd miss Bruce terribly it wouldn't be too long before they'd be together again. A human lifespan was at most a hundred or so years. Clark fully intended to live such a good life that he would end up back where he began. All Bruce had to do was wait a little longer and, inevitably, they would be reunited.

"Just so you know," Lex said, startling Clark out of his thoughts, "an old friend of mine is visiting. I haven't seen him since school. I think you might like him. He's from Gotham."

"Really?" Clark asked. "When did he get here?"

"Just this morning," Lex said, nodding towards the door. "There you are, Bruce. I'm glad that you're here. Clark Kent, allow me to introduce Bruce Wayne, fellow billionaire and industrialist. Bruce, this is my friend, Clark Kent. He's the one who saved my life."

"A pleasure."

Clark froze for a long moment. He knew that voice. Worry and fear made his heart pound against his chest as Clark slowly turned to stare at Bruce's new human body. Bruce's face was nearly identical to his angelic face, though the eyes were a bit colder than Clark remembered. He stared at Clark with such intensity that it made Clark's stomach turn flips. Lex puttered around behind Clark making some sort of drink.

"Bruce just came back from a long trip abroad," Lex said in the background. "I believe you were in Tibet, right?"

"Yes, among other places," Bruce said with his eyes still locked on Clark's face. "I learned a lot while I was away. It's good to be home."

"Host?" Clark mouthed at Bruce.

Bruce shook his head no. When Lex passed Bruce the drink he'd just prepared, it was in such a way that neither of them touched the other. Lex immediately retreated behind his desk as if he was keeping his distance from Bruce. That turned on Clark's protective instincts. While Lex and Bruce chatted about the 'old times' that they'd shared, Clark did his best to stay between them. Clark didn't know how Bruce knew all the things that Lex brought up, but neither of them seemed to be trying to trip the other up. After a few minutes, Lex excused himself to deal with something work-related. Clark waited until Lex left the room before he strode over and grabbed Bruce's shoulder to shake him.

"What did you do?" Clark hissed at him.

"Stop that," Bruce snapped. "I had to save you, Clark. No matter what the cost, I had to save you."

"You Fell?"

"Yes," Bruce declared in such a grim tone of voice that it made Clark shudder and back off a couple of paces. "I Fell for you, Clark. I found a witch and she gave me this body. I will live this life and then be damned to Hell for the deal I made but it's worth it. Anything is worth it as long as you're restored to Heaven."

"That's insane!" Clark gasped. "Bruce, I would have gotten back to Heaven eventually anyway. I would have lived this life, died and then gone on."

"There's no guarantee of that," Bruce said. He glared fiercely at Clark. "You've already proven weak to the temptations of the flesh. You need to leave this life quickly. You have to complete your mission and go home."

Clark tried to find something to say to that but only garbled noises came out of his mouth. He'd never expected Bruce to do something this desperate and downright crazy. Bruce had always been the levelheaded one in their relationship. A hard shake of his head did nothing to clear Clark's thoughts, but it did at least free up his voice again.

"All you had to do was wait," Clark said.

"I disagree," Bruce replied. "Even if you had returned to Heaven you would not have been an angel anymore. If you complete your mission then everything will be all right."

"No it won't!" Clark cried. "You'll be trapped here. Bruce!"

They both backed off and looked away from each other as Lex came back into the office. No matter what had happened Clark knew that Bruce wouldn’t reveal him to a normal mortal man, and Clark wouldn't do it to Bruce either. Lex raised an eyebrow at the two of them, chuckling as if they were amusing.

"I do hope you two weren't fighting," Lex drawled at them.

"Of course not," Clark said. He winced at the amused look he got from Lex and the pointed glare from Bruce. "Well, not much anyway. Um, I need to get home, Lex. I've got a lot of chores I need to do."

"Thanks for visiting, Clark," Lex said.

"Do stop by again," Bruce added in a way that made it clear to Clark that one way or the other he would ensure that Lex wasn't an issue in Clark's life for much longer.

Clark hurried home, desperately hoping that Martha and Jonathan would have taken over his parents so that he could ask for their advice. They hadn't. Despite Clark's desperate mental prayers, neither of them showed up all evening. They could tell that Clark was worried about something but neither of them asked after Clark said that it was nothing. As evening fell, Clark went out to his loft to stare across the fields.

"I have to ask," Clark whispered. "I don't want to but I have to."

It was much harder than it had been before. Clark's body clung to him, not wanting to let his soul slip free. The only way Clark managed it was by leaving a thick rope that connected his soul to his body. As he finally slipped free, his body slumped sideways on the couch as if he'd fallen asleep. When Clark looked over his shoulder at his wings, they were completely black.

"I thought so," Clark murmured.

It was harder to find his way back to Heaven. Despite his wings, it was as though he wasn't really an angel anymore. Of course, once he arrived at the Gates, the angels on guard stiffened and then looked away. Their snowy white wings mocked Clark. He felt like the blackness staining his wings was going to stain Heaven itself. He was only a few dozen paces past the gate when Martha and Jonathan arrived.

"Clark," Martha gasped. "Your wings!"

"I know," Clark said. "I've made my choice, Martha. I'm sorry but I can't leave this life. I made a terrible choice in taking this body but, now that I have it, I can't turn my back and leave."

Although she and Jonathan looked utterly disappointed, neither of them seemed to be surprised. Clark took a deep breath before they could turn away. Martha cocked her head at him, obviously curious what else he might have to say. Jonathan frowned as if he was the human Jonathan talking to Lex.

"Bruce is there," Clark said. "He's taken a human body in an effort to get me to leave Earth and return to Heaven. He made some sort of deal with a witch."

"Oh no!" Martha breathed. Her hands flew to her mouth as she stared at him.

"That stiff-necked fool," Jonathan groaned. "I knew he was upset, but I didn't think he'd do something this stupid. All he could talk about lately was you and how you'd been trapped."

"Please, I don't ask for anything for myself," Clark pleaded, "but please, is there anything that can be done to save Bruce?"

Martha and Jonathan exchanged looks that were far too opaque for Clark to read. He could feel his body tugging at him. Very soon, he'd be drawn back down to Earth. There was no way that he'd be able to come back here, not until after his human body died, so Clark resisted the tug. They had to help Bruce. 

"I'm sorry, Clark," Martha said sadly. "There's nothing that we can do."

"We'll pass this on to Bruce's supervisors," Jonathan agreed, "but we're powerless in this regard. Bruce… we knew that something had happened. He gave up his power. If he'd kept it the way that you did, I think that we might have been able to do something but he's fully human now."

"There is no return from a Fall that complete," Martha said. "I'm sorry."

"He did it for me," Clark whispered. "He did it to save me."

Clark's body tugged hard on him, forcing him to return to it. It felt as though he was dragged several feet away from them. Jonathan and Martha stayed where they were, their expressions faintly remote, as if he was no longer their concern. Realizing that he was no longer their problem made Clark want to cry.

"I'm sorry," Clark called to them. "I'm sorry I disappointed you. I'll do my best in my new life. Please, please, please talk to Bruce's supervisor and see what can be done!"

They nodded at Clark that they would. He swallowed down tears and turned away. The walk back to the Gates seemed to take forever. Angels materialized out of the aether to watch him walk out of his former home, but no one said anything, not a single jeer or shout, although the disapproval was palpable. Once Clark passed through the gauntlet and under the Gates, he turned and looked back.

The Gates, golden symbols of everything 'home', slowly shut him out. The angels who had been his friends and companions over the course of his angelic life watched him. The guards on the gate had their weapons at the ready, just in case Clark decided to attack. He wouldn't, of course. There was no point. As much as Clark wished that he could return to Heaven, it wasn't his life anymore.

Clark looked back frequently during the flight back to Earth and his human body. Full night had fallen in Smallville, so the light of Heaven was almost immediately consumed in blackness. What little sense he'd had left of God's Grace faded further with every stroke of his wings. 

It felt like losing his heart, his soul. 

It felt like being hunted and destroyed. 

It felt like everything would be different from now on.

It felt like freedom. 

When Clark settled back into his stiff, cold body, it also felt like hope. Forbidden from returning to Heaven until he earned a new place in it, he still had a chance for a good life in a beautiful world. Over his lifetime, he would earn his way back through the Gates, by making the world a better place. This time he would be one of God's people rather than one of his angels.

"The first person I have to save is Bruce," Clark whispered.

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling of his loft. Dawn had just crept over Kansas and its pink light stained the beams over his head. Clark sat up and stretched the kinks out. Heaven might not be able to save Bruce, but Clark would find a way, one that wasn't as stupid as Bruce's plan for saving Clark. He wondered if Lex could help Clark find the witch that had trapped Bruce. She might be able to give him the clues he needed, though Clark would have to be very careful about the price she demanded for her assistance.

"Clark?" Martha called. "Are you all right? Did you come to bed last night?"

"Sorry, Mom," Clark called as he headed down the stairs to her. "I guess I fell asleep out here last night."

"Oh sweetie, only you," Martha laughed. "Come on inside and get warmed up. I'm making waffles for breakfast."

"Great!" Clark said before giving her a hug. "I'm starved. Would it be okay for me to visit Lex after my morning chores are done? I forgot to get a book from him last night."

"After your chores, sweetie," said his mother. She patted his arm with so much love and pride, that it nearly made Clark's heart burst with joy. "Just don't spend all day over there. Even if it is Saturday, you shouldn't spend all your time with him. Lex does have other things he needs to do besides entertain you."

"Yes, ma'am," Clark said.

Joy filled him as he realized that she really was his mom now. Jonathan was really his dad. Chloe and Pete were truly his friends. He could set goals. There would be a job in his future. Lovers, and maybe children someday, hopes and dreams, all of them were Clark's now. He stumbled on the doorstep as he realized that he had to have a guardian angel of his own now. One of the angels he'd worked with was now watching over him as he had watched over Lex.

'I'll do my best not to give you too much trouble,' Clark mentally promised to whoever had been assigned the job. 'I won't be like Lex was. Well, once I figure out what to do about Bruce, that is. After that, I swear things will calm down a lot.'

He hoped that it was an honest promise. Given the way things had gone since he'd moved into his life, Clark might be lying to himself, but he'd give it his best shot. Making the world a better place shouldn't be too dangerous of a task after all.

+++++

Waking up to his human body inspired a shudder and a groan from Bruce. He hated losing awareness when he slept; dreams seemed to be a form of torture with their bizarre logic. The fact that he always woke with a mouth that tasted horrible and an erect penis added to the subtle trauma of being trapped in human form. 

Bruce rubbed the sleep from his eyes and then froze. "What are you doing here?" 

"Good morning," Lex said quietly from his post at the door to Bruce's bedroom. "I take it you didn't sleep well. Perhaps a different room? I'd hate for my old friend to be uncomfortable in my home."

Bruce narrowed his eyes at Lex. The words were neutral, almost kind, but Bruce could see the way Lex watched him. Somehow, he'd betrayed himself, though Bruce wasn't sure yet how he'd done it. In the final analysis, it didn't matter what particular mistakes had given away that he wasn't actually Bruce Wayne.

"It could be I'm uncomfortable being around someone who would seduce a person like Clark," Bruce snapped at Lex.

"I've done nothing of the sort," Lex said. He straightened up and glared at Bruce. "Any choices that Clark has made are entirely his own. All I've done is to attempt to be a friend for him."

"By 'being his friend,' you've denied Clark any chance of Heaven," Bruce said. His voice had automatically slid down into a threatening growl. He wasn't sure where it came from but it conveyed his anger at Lex better than any words could have. "Because of you, Clark will never see Heaven again."

Lex shook his head at Bruce, his lips going thin with annoyance. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Bruce. Clark has the same chance at Heaven as you and I. As long as he lives a good life he'll be allowed in."

Bruce threw off the covers and stood to glare at Lex. The marks left from the cuts in his host's wrists showed clearly, but Bruce couldn't care less. Lex took a step back, as if he was worried about allowing Bruce within arm's reach. Given how angry Bruce was at him for what he'd done to Clark, Lex was quite justified in his concern.

"Clark deserves something much better than you," Bruce growled at Lex. "He's abandoned his true destiny and his duties for you. You're wasting your life on drinking, drugs and sex. If he stays around you, Clark will end up doing the same."

"I think you're underestimating his free will," Lex said stiffly, "and I do not waste my life. I haven't since I met Clark. He helped me see that I was making mistakes in how I was living. Clark's choices are entirely his own, just as my choices and your choices are our own. He has free will, Bruce. He is where he is because he has chosen to be there."

"I do not accept that," Bruce shouted. "You did something! You seduced him, tricked him, and clouded his mind. Clark wouldn't do that. He wouldn't choose a life with you over his place in Heaven!"

Lex sighed and shook his head at Bruce, backing away when Bruce took three decisive steps towards him. Before Bruce could grab Lex and do something, though he had no idea what, Lex left the bedroom. As he walked through the sitting room outside, heading for the hallway, light glimmered through the windows. Bruce froze, staring at Lex's back as he exited Bruce's suite of rooms.

The faintest glimmer of wings shone on Lex's back for an instant as he passed through the morning light.

'That can't be,' Bruce thought.

He felt like his feet had been nailed to the floor, a blasphemous thought that he should be ashamed of, but shame was the last thing in his mind. He was certain Lex couldn't be a fallen angel. His behavior was anything but angelic, though Bruce's behavior had been no better. Still, it made no sense that Lex would be an angel in human form. Bruce's job was such that if an angel had Fallen in the last one hundred years, he would have heard about it.

"It can't be," Bruce murmured. "It can't."

+++++

Clark hesitated outside of Lex's office. He'd thought all morning while doing his chores. Despite the trouble it could cause, Lex deserved to know the truth. No matter what happened, Clark had no intention of telling his parents that he'd told Lex what he used to be. They didn't know, so it would only confuse them. Lex, on the other hand, had been his charge, though Clark was pretty sure that by now Lex had someone else as his guardian angel. 

"Hey, Lex," Clark called as he pushed open the doors.

"Good afternoon, Clark," Lex said. His face lit up and he put aside the paperwork that he'd been working.

"I'm not interrupting, am I?" Clark asked.

"Not at all," Lex said. "I was just finishing up some paperwork in preparation for next week. Was there something you wanted to discuss?"

The words were almost a ritual between them. Clark had made a point of always having something to ask Lex when he came over, simply so that he'd have an excuse to be there beyond his angelic duties. For the first time, he had much more than a request for advice.

"Um, yeah," Clark said. He had to swallow down the nervous lump in his throat to be able to continue. "I sort of have something really important to talk to you about. Is it safe to talk here? No one is going to interrupt, are they?"

Lex frowned at Clark's question and stood. He headed over to his bookshelf and opened a cabinet, revealing a complex machine that he switched on. Clark winced at the brief high-pitched noise that it emitted. After the squeal ceased, Lex shut the cabinet and turned to Clark.

"We should be completely secure," Lex said. "Bruce has taken himself off to wander the garden and the staff is busy on other projects outside. What did you want to ask me that was so sensitive, Clark?"

"It's not so much that I want to ask you something," Clark said, swallowing down the same lump again. "It's something I wanted to tell you. To explain. You remember how when we met you asked if you'd hit me?"

"I could hardly forget it," Lex said with a wry smile.

"Well, um, you did hit me," Clark admitted. "Sort of. You hit me, but I wasn't exactly me at that point."

Lex frowned and cocked his head at Clark, as if he was trying to figure out exactly what Clark was saying. Nerves made Clark shuffle his feet as he tried to work out how to say but, after a moment, he gave up and decided it would be best to let his wings show. He pulled off his shirt, unsure whether they would be solid or insubstantial. Both of Lex's eyebrows climbed towards his nonexistent hairline, until Clark let out the breath that he'd been holding and let the wings appear.

"Oh," Lex breathed.

"See?" Clark said. "I was your guardian angel, Lex. When you hit the boy on the bridge, I made a snap decision to take over his body. Unfortunately, he was already dead so I was kind of stuck in here."

"So when you said that you were falling for me you meant Falling from heaven," Lex murmured.

"Yeah," Clark admitted. He pulled one wing forward so that he could study the feathers. They were as solid as the rest of his body. The feathers were pure black with glossy blue highlights that made them gleam in the light from Lex's fireplace. "I kind of meant both ways but, yes, I really did Fall because of you. I never would have made this choice if I hadn't had the chance to experience what human life is really like with you."

Lex came over and ran a hand over Clark's wing. Clark had half expected that a touch to his wings would be enormously erotic. When he was an angel, it had been, but Clark was a human and it wasn't the same. The touch felt good, just as someone else touching Clark's arm felt, but there wasn't a huge erotic rush from the simple contact.

As Lex gently ran his hand over the primary feathers, something glimmered behind him. It was almost like seeing translucent wings on Lex's back, but they were only there for a moment and Clark thought that it was probably just a trick of the light. A shard of light was lancing through the stained glass windows to dance at their feet, so Clark thought that it was just his imagination getting away with him.

"They're beautiful," Lex murmured. He looked up at Clark with a wry expression. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you," Clark whispered. 

He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss against Lex's mouth. Lex moaned and kissed him back. His arms wrapped around Clark's back, toying with the base of his wings. That sent an erotic charge through Clark's body that he didn't expect. The kiss deepened into something far more intense. Clark shuddered when Lex finally pulled back. They were both panting and Clark could feel Lex's erection pressed against his hip.

"This… we shouldn't do this," Lex said. He swallowed hard and stepped backwards while still clinging to Clark's arms. "Not yet. Not this way."

"Why?" Clark asked. "I thought, I mean, it looked like you really liked me. This doesn't change things, does it?"

"It changes nothing and everything," Lex said with a sad, wry smile. "Clark, Bruce loves you. I don't feel comfortable doing this until you work out your issues with Bruce. He gave up so much for you, obviously for the wrong reasons, but that sacrifice should be honored."

Clark blinked and stared at Lex for a long moment. The shimmer of wings behind Lex haunted his mind but he wasn't sure. How could he be sure? It could be something else entirely. Lex had been around Bruce all day. They had to have talked a great deal while Clark was gone. Given Lex's skill at eliciting information from others and then deducing things, how hard would it have been for Lex to put Clark's former angelic status together with Bruce's changed behavior and make the leap that Bruce was a fallen angel too?

"I know," sighed Clark. He let Lex's hands go and focused on returning his wings to hiding. Once they'd disappeared, he pulled his shirt back on. "I just don't know what to do about it. This is what I chose to do. I like this life. I want to live on Earth and do things and make the world a better place. I still can't believe that Bruce gave everything up for me."

Lex nodded, taking another step backwards. "I think you need to talk to him. I know it won't be pleasant but you do need to try and work this out with him, Clark. He's in the garden. Why don't you go find him and chat?"

Clark made a face but nodded agreement. Despite his physical appearance, he was mature enough to know that Lex was right. He did need to talk to Bruce. The problem was that he was pretty sure that it wasn't going to be a very productive discussion. Bruce wasn't very good at listening to calm reasoning when he was upset about something. He never had been.

It took a few minutes to locate Bruce in the garden. He'd found the most out-of-the-way corner to sulk in. Clark had no choice but to call it sulking when he saw Bruce hunkered down on one of the stone benches, under an arbor that put him in full shadow while the rest of the garden bathed in sunlight. The way Bruce had his arms crossed on his chest and his stiff posture only added to the impression.

"Bruce," Clark called.

"Clark," Bruce said. He stood and stared at Clark with a hungry expression that revealed far more than he probably wanted about how he felt about Clark. "What are you doing here? You should stay away from Lex."

"Bruce, I've made my choice," Clark said. He came over and stood in front of Bruce, doing his best not to show how nervous he was. "I've gone back and told them that I won't be returning to my angelic duties. I'm a human now. This is the life I've chosen and this is the life I'm going to live."

"No!" Bruce gasped. He grabbed Clark's shoulders, shaking him. "Clark, you can't give up on Heaven this way!"

"I'm not giving up," Clark huffed at him. "Bruce, there's more than one path to get there. Humans get to go to Heaven too. They're our Father's Chosen children. This is a good choice, the right one for me. I didn't realize it at the time, but it is."

"I cannot accept that," Bruce snapped. "You are so much more than a mere human, Clark. You were one of the best of us. It's wrong for you to be trapped in that body."

"I'm not trapped!" Clark exclaimed. "Bruce, I _chose_ this. It's not a trap at all."

Bruce growled at him. His face looked so angry that it was a little scary. Clark had never seen Bruce this way before. He'd always been so perfectly in control of his emotions before he took this human body. It kind of horrified Clark how much Bruce had given up when he'd given up his wings and powers.

"It is a trap," Bruce declared. "I don't know how you can't see it. You've been lured into this and then tricked so that you think that this is what you want, but you don't. I know you, Clark. You wouldn't make this choice. You never would have done something like this before you encountered Lex!"

"Quit blaming Lex for everything!" Clark shouted. "It's not his fault. Why do you keep insisting that I couldn't have chosen this way? I did. You don't have to understand it, but I do expect you to accept it."

"Never!" Bruce said, the words an angry snarl that twisted his face into a blackly furious mask. "It's another of his tricks, like the fake wings he tried to confuse me with."

Clark waved his hands between them, completely thrown off by Bruce's comment about wings. Bruce opened his mouth to continue his argument, but stopped when Clark turned and stared back at the mansion. He was frowning when Clark turned back to him.

"You saw them too?" Clark asked.

"You saw them?" Bruce asked, as startled as Clark.

"Yeah, but I thought it was a trick of the light," Clark said. "They were so pale and translucent that I couldn't quite see them. It was more like motes of dust dancing in the sunlight."

"He couldn't be," Bruce said. His voice wasn't its normal confident self, he sounded hesitant and unsure.

"Why not?" Clark asked. "I'm a Fallen angel. So are you. Maybe Lex is one too."

"No, I would have known," Bruce disagreed. "It was part of my duties to know about any angels who Fell. I don't know him."

"Maybe… he didn't Fall the same way," Clark suggested. "Maybe it's an assignment or something. It does happen and neither of us would have heard of that. God knows that he's doing his best to block Lionel, and if that man isn't on an evil path then I don't know anything."

Bruce opened his mouth to argue but closed it after a moment. He nodded slowly while staring off into the distance. It made sense to Clark. There were many ways that Lex could be an angel that had little to do with his having Fallen. It could be a Gift. It could be an assignment. It could be half a dozen things, including both of them being wrong.

"Another lie," Bruce grumbled. "All he does is lie!"

"Or maybe he isn't allowed to say anything," Clark said while rolling his eyes. "Let me go talk to him again, Bruce. We really need to get to the bottom of this. Not that it's going to change my mind. I've already been back and told them. The Doors are closed for me until this body dies and I'm not about to die sooner than I have to. This _is_ my life from now on."

Bruce glared at Clark as if he wanted to say a million hurtful things. Clark sighed and put a hand on Bruce's shoulder. It seemed to take all of the wind out of Bruce's sails and he sighed and shook his head sadly. 

"Bruce, my choice was never a rejection of you," Clark said as softly and gently as he could. "I should have talked to you about it, but… I always thought that you'd be there when I got back. A human lifetime is so short. We've been apart for that long before. Granted, this isn't the same as those assignments, but I really didn't think you'd take this so badly."

"Human life is so… filthy," Bruce admitted with a grimace of distaste. "I've never understood how anyone could want to live this way."

"It's not all bad," Clark said. "Food is wonderful. You should try some of my mom's cooking. I think you'd like it. And singing is great. Dancing. There are a lot of really wonderful joys in being human."

"Gluttony," Bruce said with a little snort that held some amusement at least. "I much prefer heavenly chorus to human music, and dancing as humans do it now is nothing more than encouraging lust."

"You are so strict," Clark groaned.

It was actually a familiar argument and one that felt like coming home. They'd spent eons arguing for and against various pleasures and sins while in Heaven. Those had been abstract arguments, while this felt a bit more serious at the same time it seemed almost absurd to Clark. There was so much living to do and so many opportunities. To get wrapped up in the various sins that he could be committing seemed shortsighted and foolish. Of course, Clark was sure that Bruce would argue the other way around, that Clark was being shortsighted by not paying attention to all the ways in which he was damaging his hopes of Heaven.

"Look, we can and have argued that one for ages," Clark said, getting a lightning-quick grin out of Bruce. "For now, I think we should table it. I'm going to talk to Lex. If he is an angel, then I think we need to know. Something else might be going on here."

Bruce nodded, retreating back to his shadowy corner of the garden. Clark left him there, completely certain that Bruce would be up and pacing, probably heading for the mansion, once Clark was out of sight. Bruce never had been the sort to stand by while things went wrong, no matter how much he complained about it after the fact.

Lex was in his office once Clark got back inside. He was standing in front of one of the windows, gazing out as if he saw a completely different scene outside. Clark paused at the door, because he could see the faintest outline of shining wings on Lex's back.

"How'd it go?" Lex asked without turning around.

"Not good," Clark sighed. "Bruce is… very old-fashioned. He doesn't believe that I chose this life freely. He keeps wanting to blame you."

Lex's faint wings strengthened for a moment and then faded away as Lex turned to face Clark. His expression was sad and apologetic. Clark cocked his head at Lex, wondering if there was any graceful way to ask what he needed to know. Lex went to his bar and got a glass of scotch. The first sip made even the last glimmerings of wings disappear.

"Um, Lex?" Clark asked.

"Yes?"

"Is there anything you wanted to tell me? You know, about you?" Clark asked. He made a gesture like wings over his shoulders and then pointed at Lex's back.

Lex laughed quietly, taking another swallow of the brandy before smirking very sadly at Clark. "You're not the only one who has made mistakes, Clark. I've made some truly spectacular bad choices in the past. I like to think that I've learned something from those mistakes and that I'm on the right path now. I do think that it's, in large part, thanks to you."

Clark nodded. It wasn't an open answer, but it also wasn't a lie. His powers had never extended to reading minds, at least not in any effective way. That didn't change the fact that he liked to think he knew Lex a bit better than most people did. Clark came over and took the glass of brandy from Lex's hand. Lex raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't try to take it back.

"Does it help hide it?" Clark asked.

"Sometimes," Lex said. "Most of the time it simply numbs things. It's been… helpful… in the past."

"Assignment or punishment?" Clark asked while studying Lex's expression.

"Neither really," Lex said, looking away. His face was a study of regret, sadness and amusement. "More of a second chance, actually. Which I have been sadly wasting most of my life, though I do think there were reasons for my doing that."

"I was right. You are," Clark breathed.

"Are what?" asked Lex, his smirk firmly back in place though Clark could see amusement in his eyes.

Clark opened his mouth to protest but Lex pursed his lips as if shushing Clark and brushed a finger against his ear, which stopped the incipient protest before it could pass Clark's lips. He tended to forget that Lex had to be careful of his father. Letting Lionel know that any of them were angels wasn't a good idea. He nodded that he understood, passing the glass of brandy back to Lex. Lex drained it and set the glass aside.

"Do you think that there's anything we can do to help Bruce?" Clark asked. "I mean, he's so upset about all of this, and I really don't want him to be. I kind of want to save him, let him… go home with an eased conscience, but I don't know how."

Lex cocked his head and thought about it. "There might be. It might take some work, a visit to Gotham perhaps, but it's possible. Would you like some help with that?"

"Yes," Clark said with a big grin. "I would."

"All right then," Lex chuckled. "Go ask your parents for permission to go on a trip, and we'll see what we can do to roust Bruce out of his current emotional funk."

Convincing his parents was a lot harder than Clark expected, but he supposed that he should have, given his age now. Sixteen-year-old boys didn't usually go off to Gotham with billionaires. The only way he managed to get them to agree to it was by lying and saying that Bruce Wayne had offered him a scholarship but he had to go to Gotham to sign the paperwork in person. 

"Make sure that you thank him, sweetie," Mom said as Clark headed out the door to head to Lex's mansion.

"I will, Mom," Clark said.

He sped over to Lex's mansion, finding Lex and Bruce in the office, arguing. Rather than listen to their argument he strode in, tossed his bag on the couch, and pointed a finger at Bruce. Bruce predictably bristled, even though Clark was grinning at him.

"You owe me a scholarship," Clark declared.

"I most certainly do not," Bruce huffed.

"Yes, you do," Clark said. "A full ride scholarship."

Lex started chuckling, shaking his head at both of them. Clark kept arguing with Bruce all the way to Gotham on Lex's private jet. Whenever Clark got tired, Lex took over. Between the two of them, they managed to not only keep Bruce distracted, but also to get a good bit of information on how he'd gotten his body. It was kind of horrifying to discover that Bruce's body had been a suicide victim, but it did explain why Bruce no longer had his wings or any of his powers; the effort to heal the damage had consumed them.

Wayne Manor was so much bigger and grander than Luthor Mansion that Clark was convinced he'd be lost all the time while staying there. Alfred was wonderful, especially after he slipped Clark a map of the manor so that he wouldn't get too lost. Once he'd settled his things into his room, Clark went to talk to Lex.

"Interesting," Lex murmured as Clark came in. He gestured for Clark to come closer to where he was working on his laptop.

"What is?"

"I checked the previous Bruce's actions before he committed suicide," Lex explained. "He visited a fortune teller in town within an hour of his suicide attempt. I think we might want to go talk to her to see if she might be able to give us any information."

"Do you think she might be the witch that our Bruce talked about?" Clark asked.

"It's possible," Lex said. "I do think that we should be very careful. If this Zatanna did compel the original Bruce to commit suicide in an effort to trap the new Bruce, then she might be quite dangerous."

Clark wasn't surprised that Bruce refused to come with them. It was obvious that, in his mind, there was nothing at all to be done about his situation, beyond Clark returning to Heaven as an angel. Rather than get into another fight with him, Clark left him to brood and headed out with Lex. 

Zatanna's little fortune-telling storefront was tucked into a series of old stores in a worn-out part of Gotham that made Clark nervous, even with his remaining powers. Lex walked down the street as calmly as if he was at home walking down the hallway. He went in first, with Clark close on his heels.

Inside, the shop was everything that Clark had always thought a fortuneteller's shop should be. There were mysterious books, strange objects, rich fabrics, and a beautiful woman smiling at him from the door to the back room. She chuckled as Clark started and then blushed. Lex smirked at him as well, making the blush at least three times worse.

"Welcome," Zatanna said. "Can I help you with something?"

"I hope so," Lex said. "A short while ago, a young man named Bruce Wayne visited you."

"Yes, he did," Zatanna said with sorrow and worry in her eyes. "I was quite worried about him. He's been depressed for years and recently took a turn for the worse."

"You knew him?" Clark asked, surprised.

"I've known Bruce since I was a small child," Zatanna said. She grinned at Clark. "I'm actually an old friend of the family."

Lex nodded slowly as if what Zatanna had said had made sense of something that had been confusing him. He studied her for a long moment, a faint shimmer forming behind him. Clark bit his lip, unsure what Lex was doing. If Zatanna was a threat to them, showing even that little of what he really was might be too much.

"Shortly after that," Lex said, his wings shimmering in the dark room, "an angel came to visit you. I believe you… struck a deal with him. I'm curious as to why and what the deal was."

Zatanna cocked her head, taking the appearance of Lex's wings perfectly calmly. "I suggested that he go to Wayne Manor, yes, but there was no deal. You see, just before the angel appeared to me I got a call from Bruce. He called to say goodbye. He was in the process of committing suicide. Before I could do anything to stop him, he hung up. My hope was that the angel would save him."

"Then he isn't damned to Hell?" Clark gasped.

"Of course not," Zatanna said. She looked completely appalled by the mere thought. "I believe that there are no coincidences in life. Bruce's suicide was so close in time with the angel's arrival that I knew they had to be connected. I did a reading for him and I do believe that it was correct. He had to become Bruce Wayne. There is something that he needs to do that my Bruce was not strong enough to do."

"What was his reading?" Lex asked.

Zatanna gestured for them to come into the back room. It was set up for doing fortune telling, with dim lights and a table in the center of the room. She pulled out a deck of tarot cards and sorted through them, laying out a sequence of cards. Clark looked at them, trying to figure out what they were saying. He'd never bothered to learn about their imagery. Lex apparently did understand them, because he looked fascinated by the cards.

"What was the last one?" Lex asked while pointing at the last card, which Zatanna had put down without exposing the face.

"He didn't want to see it," Zatanna said with a little sigh. "I think he should have. I looked after he left and I suspect that it would have reassured him a great deal."

She flipped the card over and exposed one labeled "The World." Lex hummed, picking the card up to study it. Clark cocked his head at Lex, silently asking what it meant. Zatanna smiled at him before taking the card back from Lex. She whispered something under her breath, and the card bloomed into life.

The world turned in front of Clark, rotating like the real Earth did. He could see people, living, loving, growing, and dying. It was so vivid that he could hear them, feel them, and all but taste the things that they ate. Clark shuddered, awed at her power. It was far beyond what he'd expected from a common fortuneteller.

"Bruce has choices and those choices will determine his ultimate fate," Zatanna's voice said. It sounded like it was coming from a very long ways away. "He can still do as he did before, ensuring that justice is served in this world as he used to in Heaven."

The vision faded, leaving Clark staring at Zatanna with his mouth dropped open in shock. Lex wasn't staring at Zatanna. He was staring at Clark, confusion and speculation in his eyes. Clark snapped his mouth shut and swallowed down his surprise.

"Just exactly what did Bruce do?" Lex asked.

"Oh, um, well, he worked under the Archangel Raguel," Clark explained. "He summoned angels who weren't behaving well to account for their behavior. That's how we met. I worked with the Archangel Phanuel as an angel of judgment. I usually was one of the ones sent out to bring angels in if they didn't come in willingly."

Zatanna nodded thoughtfully. "I believe that you both must continue the work that you did before. My reading of Bruce suggests that he must work for justice. I would assume that you will do as you did before, bringing the wicked to their fate."

That pronouncement left Clark speechless. Lex asked a number of questions about what Zatanna had seen and what she felt their path should be. By the time they left, Clark was wondering exactly who Lex had been before he was a human. It was obvious that he had been an angel, even if Lex wouldn't say it outright. Zatanna eventually shooed them out when a customer came in. They drove back to Wayne Manor in silence, each wrapped up in their thoughts.

Bruce was in the study, staring at the fire as if it was his eternal fate. Clark strode over and caught Bruce's shoulder. He glared at Clark as if his presence was intrusive, which it probably was given Clark's human body. Lex followed more slowly, apparently letting Clark launch the first strike on Bruce's beliefs.

"Bruce, we talked to Zatanna, the witch you told us about," Clark said.

"What?" Bruce snapped. "Are you insane? She's dangerous! You didn't agree to anything, did you?"

"What? No, of course not," Clark said. "She didn't make a bargain with us. She didn't make one with you either. All she did was point you at an opportunity. You took it of your own free will."

Bruce's head reared back as if Clark had slapped him in the face. Clark sighed, wishing he were better at explaining things. So many times his explanations had gone wrong, mostly because his enthusiasm overwhelmed his ability to communicate clearly. 

"You never looked at the last card," Lex said quietly. "It wasn't Hell, Bruce. It was The World. Ultimately, what you do with this life is up to you. You can damn yourself to Hell by your actions or earn a place in Heaven if you choose well. It's up to you."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Bruce snapped at them. "I know what happened. What angel were you that you have such knowledge of fate, Lex?"

"I never had any knowledge of fate," Lex said sadly. His wings appeared behind him, far more fully this time. They were nearly all white with black only at the tips of the primary feathers. "I was Melahel. Healing was my province, not the future. Unfortunately, I was miserable and failing. This life was a gift to me, a second chance that I was squandering until Clark Fell for me. It made me realize that I wasn't affecting only myself and other humans. I was affecting other angels, causing them pain and trouble. It was a good wakeup call, one that I don't intend to waste."

+++++

Bruce stared at Lex's wings, his words echoing in Bruce's ears without fully registering. He'd been almost positive that Lex was an angel, but to learn that his presence in a human body was a Gift rather than a punishment had thrown him off balance. It did explain why he hadn't known about Lex. He did remember the whispered discussions of Melahel's Gift, but Raguel had never explained exactly what had happened to Melahel or where he'd gone.

"Wow," Clark breathed in exactly the right way to set Bruce's temper off again. "I had no idea. Do you have any of your powers left?"

"Not really," Lex said with a wry shrug. "It wasn't considered appropriate. I heal faster than normal and never get sick, but that's about it."

His wings faded out of sight and Lex turned to Bruce with a serious, sad expression on his face. Bruce stiffened, stubbornly unwilling to listen to him. While listening wasn't going to hurt him, everything about Lex set Bruce's teeth on edge. The last thing Bruce wanted to do was heed Lex's calm words of reason, when he'd far rather bash Lex's head in for seducing Clark away from his proper place in Heaven.

"Bruce, taking on a human life isn't that bad," Lex said. "I know that you view it as a horrible burden. I did as well when I first took this body. It truly isn't that awful. You can still do good work. You were an angel of justice. You can still do that work, just in the human world rather than Above."

"Don't be absurd," Bruce snapped at him. "I have no powers left anymore. Those were sacrificed when I took this body."

"You have money and a body in peak condition," Lex countered. "You were a great warrior, and I'm sure you haven't lost your fighting skills. There's great evil in Gotham, in the world. While you can't call angels in to account for their behavior, you can bring humans who are walking the wrong path to justice by having them arrested for their crimes."

Bruce shook his head against Lex's words. It was so tempting. His heart reached out for the chance to do good works again, to make the Lord proud of him, but he didn't trust Lex at all. Anything that Lex advocated had to be a trick. He'd tricked Clark, and Lex's suggestion had to be another trick to lure Bruce away from the proper path, not that he had a chance of going to Heaven.

"No," Bruce said while glaring at Lex. "I never wanted to be a human. I only did this to save Clark from being trapped as a human. He belongs in Heaven and that is where he should be, not here, not with you. It's wrong for him to be this way, so limited and mortal."

"Damn it, why is everything about me with you?" Clark snapped. "We're not talking about me. We're talking about you and what you can do with your life. I've _made_ my choice, Bruce. There is no going back until I earn a new place in Heaven. You can't do anything to separate me from this body other than kill me! Sure, this isn't perfect but it's still a good life and I will be using the powers I have left to help humanity as best I can. Why can't you see that you can do the same thing?"

Anger nearly forced Bruce to lash out at Clark, but he bit his tongue and restrained himself. It was yet another sign of how Lex had led Clark astray; that was all. No matter what they said, Bruce couldn't be what they thought he could. He had no powers left. How could a mere mortal accomplish something as incredible as changing the world?

"Bruce, you truly don't need powers," Lex said, as if he were reading Bruce's mind. "All you really need is your force of will and determination. I know that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. You've already shown that. Besides, you're quite rich, and I'm sure you could buy any of the tools that you might need to make it work."

Bruce opened his mouth to argue Lex's words but there wasn't anything to argue. Lex was right but he couldn't be right. Lex was an angel but he couldn't be an angel, not if Bruce was right about Clark having been seduced away from his proper place in Heaven. He shook his head at the intense hope in Clark's eyes and the quiet hope on Lex's face. This wasn't something he could discuss with them. 

"Just leave me alone," Bruce snapped at them.

He stormed out of the room instead of staying to give Clark a chance to convince him with his tragic looks and hopeful words. Lex's ability to reason through anything wasn't something Bruce could deal with right now. Instead, Bruce went to the library to hide in one of the darker corners of the room.

He wasn't sure how much later it was when Alfred showed up, studying him with an expression that he knew he should recognize but had never seen on Alfred's face before. Alfred chuckled and came to lean against the table opposite Bruce's comfy lounge chair. Once he did it, Bruce knew exactly who he was talking to.

"Lord Raguel," Bruce said around a mouth suddenly gone far too dry.

"You always have been my most stubborn angel," Raguel said with Alfred's voice. Love and amusement shown in his eyes. "Bruce, what was the first thing that I told you?"

Bruce blinked and cast his mind back. It took a moment but he frowned when he remembered the quote.

"Nothing happens without reason," Bruce said.

"Exactly," Raguel said. "Clark's choice to possess that body was not completely accidental. He still had the opportunity to choose differently, but we suspected that he would choose to act more directly. He has chafed against the restrictions of his position for quite some time. Spending time as a human, where he can act without feeling the chains of fate around him, should do him quite a bit of good. Melahel - Lex - was lost in his healing. He had lost compassion and needed a human life to regain it. Even your choice to take that body was not without purpose. I was quite disappointed in the choice you made but honestly not that surprised. Your bond to Clark has always been very powerful. Regardless, you serve God's Plan by being here in that body, Bruce."

"But… my deal…" Bruce breathed. His mind was spinning with confusion. This was the last thing he'd expected to hear.

"There was no deal," Raguel said so gently that it was like hearing their Father comforting his Son. "You were pointed towards an opportunity, a place where you could make a choice. You could have chosen to remain in Heaven and await Clark's return. You could have chosen to guide the original Bruce Wayne to live a healthy, productive life, or you could have chosen to join Clark here on Earth. None of those choices are bad, Bruce. Heaven will only be lost if you choose to turn your back on it."

Bruce stared up at Raguel, shaking. Lex was right. Clark was right. He was the one who was seeing things incorrectly. The part of his heart that had leaped at the idea of using his money, fighting and investigative skills to improve Gotham City clawed at him again. It was possible. Heaven wasn't lost to him.

"I… want to," Bruce whispered, "but I don't know how."

"You were a symbol of justice before," Raguel said while smiling at Bruce. "Perhaps you can find a way to be a new sort of symbol. I have faith that we will meet again, Bruce. You were an excellent angel. I know that you will be just as good as a man."

Raguel faded out of Alfred's body. Bruce could see the moment at which Alfred took over again. Alfred blinked, smiling in his fatherly way at Bruce. It wasn't the same as Raguel, but it was comforting in a different way. This man had been his body's surrogate father. Perhaps he could do the same for Bruce.

"It's past supper time, Master Bruce," Alfred said. "Would you like me to bring you some tea, or would you prefer to wait until dinnertime?"

Bruce took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This was as good a place to start as any. "Some tea would be wonderful, Alfred. Bring it to the study. Bring enough for three. I'm sure neither Lex nor Clark have eaten."

"Very good, sir," Alfred said with an approving smile in his eyes if not on his lips. "I'll bring it up shortly."

Bruce headed back to the study, walking slowly while trying to sort out how to go about things. He certainly couldn't tell Alfred what he had been, but he didn't think that he had to. Alfred seemed to accept Bruce as he was. More than likely, he would accept Bruce deciding to make the world a better place in one way or another.

Clark and Lex looked up when Bruce came in. Alfred was already there with the tea things. He smiled and nodded to Bruce while continuing to set everything out for them. Once he was finished, Alfred made a little half-bow to them all and left with his teacart. Bruce came over and sat opposite them, still trying to work things out in his mind.

"I… had a visitor," Bruce said eventually. He took his teacup to cover his uncertainty, though the way his fingers shook probably revealed it far more clearly. "Raguel. He agrees with the two of you. He thinks that I should accept this life and try to make the world a better place."

"Yes!" Clark cheered. He bounced up from his seat and nearly tackled Bruce with a fierce hug. Bruce had to set his tea down or spill it all over the place. "I'm so happy!"

"I'm glad that you decided to listen to reason," Lex said with a quietly relieved look on his face.

Bruce patted Clark's back, eventually pushing him away. It felt so odd to have anyone touch him like that. Their love had never been physical before and Bruce was still profoundly uncomfortable with having a body at all. Clark beamed as he settled back into his seat.

"I was so afraid that I'd have to choose between you," Clark said. "Not needing to is wonderful!"

"If you're talking about physical love," Bruce said uncomfortably, "you may have a very long time to wait. That isn't something that I feel any interest in and frankly, I'm barely accustomed to having this body. I'm not ready to use it… sexually yet."

"That's fine," Clark said, still grinning. "I kind of expected it really. I'm more than happy to wait as long as you want, Bruce. If you're never comfortable with the idea of sex, that's fine, too. What we had together had nothing to do with sexual attraction."

"You may simply be asexual in this life," Lex said with a nod. "I do hope that you won't expect Clark to abstain as well."

Bruce squirmed uncomfortably. He still didn't like the idea of sharing Clark but, now that Raguel had reassured him that this had all happened for a reason, it was easier to see Clark's attraction to Lex as something that was predestined. There was that possibility that Bruce would never be able to give Clark _that_ sort of love. In Lex, he had a person who was his equal and who shared his interest in physical consummation.

Bruce might very well be asexual given his profound discomfort with the idea of being with Clark that way. 

"Don't expect me to watch," Bruce said as he picked up his tea again. "But… no. I wouldn't do that to him. If you hurt him I'll have to find a way to destroy you though."

"Fair enough," Lex said with an amused smirk.

+++++

"Clark, no," Lex sighed. He pushed Clark's hand away from his hip. "You're underage."

"No, I'm not," said Clark, a little surprised.

Lex clarified his statement with a little roll of his eyes and a smirk. "Physically, you're underage," 

"Um, no, I'm not," argued Clark with considerably more surprise.

They'd stayed in Gotham for another week and Bruce had finally agreed to give Clark a proper scholarship. He wasn't sure that he wanted to go to Gotham University when he graduated from high school, but it was a full ride scholarship, which he knew would be very helpful for his parents. Besides, it would let him be closer to Bruce on a regular basis, at the same time that it took him farther away from Lex.

Balancing the two of them and their very different needs was going to be a challenge, but Clark didn't mind. He was too happy that he hadn't been forced to choose between them. His relationship with Bruce hadn't changed that much now that they were human. Bruce was still very cerebral and unwilling to indulge in physical displays of affection, much less sex, but it felt a little weird to do that with him anyway. Clark's relationship with Lex was much more physical, though he was getting a little frustrated at the way Lex kept pushing him away.

"How old are you?" Lex asked skeptically.

"Sixteen, almost seventeen," Clark said. He grinned at the blatant surprise on Lex's face. "My parents held me out of school until I was older and then I started a couple of grades lower than the other kids my age. They're all a lot younger than me. How old did you think I am?"

"Fourteen," Lex said. His eyes had the same look he got when he was reassessing things and recalculating what could or could not be done. Clark could literally see the point at which Lex decided that yes, Clark could actually open his pants and yes, he would like a blowjob. Possibly, a lot more than that, given the way Lex licked his lip and eyed Clark's chest.

"You're really over the age of consent?" Lex asked.

"Swear to God, I am old enough," Clark said. He made a motion as if to pull out his wallet. "I can show you my driver's license if you want."

"No, not necessary," Lex laughed.

He leaned in and pulled Clark down for a much more urgent and far less gentle kiss. Clark groaned as Lex's arms wrapped around him. No matter how uncomfortable Bruce was with physical love, Clark was rapidly coming to adore it. Lex felt like Heaven in his arms, almost literally. It was truly wonderful how their bodies fit together and the way Lex tasted.

They moved from standing to lying on the couch, Clark underneath Lex. He groaned at the pressure of Lex's erection against his, but there was far too much fabric between them. Apparently, Lex felt the same way because his hands were scrabbling at Clark's fly while he kissed Clark senseless. Clark gasped when he suddenly was free.

"Lex," Clark groaned while nuzzling Lex's cheek.

"Patience," Lex moaned.

"Don't want to be patient," Clark grumbled. He set to work releasing Lex's erection, gasping when it finally sprang free. "No patience. No patience at all."

Lex laughed. He settled back on top of Clark, pushing both of their shirts out of the way so that they could rub against each other. It wasn't perfect but, at the same time, it was. Clark knew that he wasn't ready to go all the way, no matter how sure he was about their relationship. He suspected that Lex was holding back for the same reason that Clark was: respect for Bruce.

Spit slicked their movements and turned it from something awkward and slightly painful to another moment of pure bliss on Earth. Clark could hear himself whimpering and pleading to Lex, but there was no way that he could stop doing it. It felt far too good to rub against Lex, to feel Lex's weight against him. The way that Lex moaned deep in his chest was the sexiest thing that Clark had ever heard in his life, both as a human and as an angel.

"Don't stop," Clark pleaded as his balls contracted and a fire lit in his stomach.

"Won't," panted Lex while increasing his pace. "Never stop. Never. Clark… oh fuck yes!"

A sudden rush of heat over his stomach made Clark shout in shock and erotic joy. He kept thrusting against Lex as Lex shouted once, twice, and then groaned long and low. The bliss in his blown out pupils pushed Clark over the edge, which made Lex chuckle and hold him through the spasms of his orgasm.

"Too fast," Lex murmured after they'd caught their breath.

"Yeah," Clark sighed. He squirmed a little as the come started to get sticky and uncomfortable. Their legs were half off of the couch and Clark's head was dangling off one side. "Have to do that again but with less clothes and actually on the bed."

Lex burst out laughing. He grinned down at Clark and then kissed him tenderly. A moment later, he pulled back and away, waddling to the bathroom while holding his pants up with one hand. Clark stayed where he was while contemplating stripping before cleaning up, or doing as Lex had and just shuffling to the bathroom too.

"Stay put," said Lex a moment later. He came back in naked with a wet washcloth in his hand. "Let me take care of this."

"You don't have to," Clark said while blushing brightly.

Lex shrugged and set to work cleaning Clark's stomach up. "I made the mess, at least half of it. I think it's appropriate for me to clean it up."

"Thank you," Clark said. He sat up and pulled Lex down into another kiss once he was done. "Seriously, thank you. For everything. I'm so glad that I met you. I'm so glad that I saved you. This… it's… everything that I wanted without knowing that I wanted it."

Lex smiled one of his real smiles, the ones that made him look like a shy little boy who'd suddenly been noticed and praised. Clark could almost see Melahel looking out at him but, in truth, he suspected that Lex was Melahel and Melahel was Lex. They'd become so much the same person that there was no distinguishing them anymore.

"You're welcome, Clark," Lex murmured. "Now, strip and get in that bed. I think you said something about another round."

"Yes sir!" Clark said and laughed. "Another round it is!"

He pulled off his clothes and then crawled into bed with Lex. They didn't have long before Clark had to head back to the farm but at least they had now. When Clark completed his schooling and then college, he suspected that they'd have more time together, always presuming they could deal with Lionel's interference and the various meteor mutants in town, plus the whole issue of how Clark was going to save the world and earn his place in Heaven. None of that mattered when Lex moved into Clark's arms to hug him.

"I'm glad you saved me too, Clark," Lex whispered. "I needed to be saved. Don't give up on me."

"I never will," Clark promised. "I never will."

+++++

"Hey, you back?" Clark called as he flew into the Batcave.

Figuring out how to fly without showing his wings had taken a lot of work, but he'd done it eventually. The cover story that Lex and Bruce had come up with for his powers seemed to be working perfectly. No one found it strange that Clark, or more accurately Superman, was an alien. He had to wonder if that was more divine intervention but, if it was, it was helpful.

"What are you doing here?" Bruce snapped from his place in front of the monitors.

"Checking up on you," Clark said. He landed and walked over to hug Bruce from behind. "I heard that fight. You're not hurt, are you?"

"I'm fine," Bruce mock-grumbled. There was too much pleasure in his voice at Clark's concern for it to be a real grumble, and the way his hand rested on top of Clark's hands was blatantly grateful. "I would have thought that you'd check on Lex first. He did have a huge battle with Lionel's forces today."

"I'm going there next," Clark said. "The League and I helped out with that towards the tail end of the battle so I do know that he's okay."

Bruce turned to look up at him with the familiar doubt in his eyes. No matter how often Clark told him that Bruce was his first priority, no matter what sort of sexual relationship he shared with Lex, Bruce never believed it. He remained convinced that his asexuality was going to drive Clark away.

"Yes, you're my first priority, Bruce," Clark said lovingly. "I've known you for so very long."

"I can't give you… that," Bruce said for the umpity millionth time in the last decade or so.

"I know," said Clark, as serenely and confidently as he could. "That doesn't matter to me. You do. So when are you going to join the League? We could really use your skills and it would let us come and help you out in Gotham. Batman doesn't have to go it alone anymore than you do, you know."

Bruce sighed and shook his head at Clark. They'd had the same conversation a few thousand times. Clark had no intention of letting it go until Bruce agreed to join the League. Maybe Bruce couldn't see it, given his fierce focus on Gotham, but he belonged in the League where he could help not just one city, but the whole world. Eventually, Clark would wear him down to the point that he'd agree.

"Are you ever going to give up?" Bruce asked with just a hint of snarl in his voice.

"Never," Clark said with his best cheesy grin. "Not on you or on getting you to join up. You'll come around eventually."

"Go away," Bruce really snarled at him this time. "Go check on Lex."

"Okay," Clark said. "I'll see you tomorrow, Bruce!"

He took flight and headed for the exit waterfall. Bruce cleared his throat, which made Clark pause, hovering in midair as he looked over his shoulder at Bruce. The expression on Bruce's face was a mixture of hope, gratitude and pure Bruce-ish grumpiness.

"Thank you," Bruce murmured.

"You're welcome!" Clark said, his cape flapping a little as Clark's invisible wings flapped with joy. "Any time."

The End

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written and posted back in 2010 as part of the Smallville Big Bang. I never realized that I hadn't posted it to AO3 so here it is, six years late. Still happy with it after all these years so I hope you enjoyed the story!


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